I think it is quite dumb of me to write about love. How dare me to write about love…love is difficult to fathom, love defies all intellectual capacity, love is….
I remember when I was in junior high, my teacher asked our class a question: who will you choose to marry, a faithful and kind man or someone who’s unfaithful yet good-looking? At the back of mind, I’m thinking I should choose the later ‘coz it’ll be good for the “genes”. But I chose the first one not just for better grades but in all logic I know it’s the right thing to do… I was only fourteen then, I should know well right?
After I broke up with my ex, a man who insisted on giving me an insight about my fate through palm reading (yep! palm reading!), told me that in a year I’ll meet the man I’m going to marry. (I’ve moved on quickly after hearing that! it got me so excited! I’m weaving the 4th chapter of my very own love story!). I would have given him a 1-year supply of reading glasses, should he told me I’m pretty (not through my palms of course!).
Then a moment came and I met this guy and I asked God “is he the one?” the guy smiled at me. And so he got me anticipating about day-long conversations, weekend dates and countless dinners. But he never asked me out on a date. Poor me. Then a couple of days later, I prayed “your will be done, but at least show me a sign!”. And out of the blue, I saw him again. And I said God “are you playing tricks on me?” ‘Coz if he is the one, he should at least show some interest in me. I don’t want to be overly assuming ‘coz I know very well that I’m not particularly pretty.
On one of my trips to a Buddhist country, my friends and I paid respect to a sunrise Buddha… my generous friend asked: “bigyan nyo po si Shella ng gwapong boyfriend”. To which I added: “yung mabait at matalino”, and then followed by another thoughtful friend: “at mayaman”. (This is one of the proofs that I have golden friends. they only want the best for me). The following day we went back to the same temple to catch the sunrise. At sunrise we met this guy who is exactly what we asked for. Gwapo, mabait, matalino at mayaman. To which my generous friend gasps “ang bilis naman sumagot ni Buddha! Burger lang ang hiniling natin, Buffet ang binigay!” Thus we called him Buffet. You’ll envy me if I told you that up until now, I still talk to Buffet… I think he is so perfect that having him makes me feel like I don’t deserve such a precious gift.
Then there is this friend of mine, intelligent and charming, who seems to know a lot about life. talking to him makes me feel so grateful of the life I live. he inspires me in a way that if I were to choose the man that I am to spend the rest of my breathing life with, he would have to be like him. a christian, intelligent, kind, thoughtful, devoted husband and good father.
So I think that’s the trick, you have to be specific but very careful with what you ask for. You may receive exactly what you want but not what you need. Or he will give you what you need but not exactly what you want. But the choice is yours on whether to accept it or just let it pass you by.
Now, let me re-wire my thoughts here and list out what I think I need that matches what I want. I need a faithful, intelligent, kind, thoughtful and devoted partner. And he has to be single. I mean I know how it feels when a promiscuous girl steals the love of your life, so I am not going to be that bitchy. He doesn’t have to be drop-dead-gorgeous-oozing-with-sex-appeal-and-good-genes, ‘coz if he is, then he’ll be more than what I asked for. And when I wake up in the morning and saw him lying next to me I’d exclaim “Oh dear God! What did I do to deserve all this?”