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One friend admitted to me that she’s had a relationship with a married man. “This girl must be watching too much TV” was the first thought that entered my mind. I was just surprised because she’s smart and beautiful and I never thought it would even ever cross her weird mind. “So why’d you end it?” I asked of her. I didn’t have to hear her answer, I know what she’s going to say… it’s not worth it or it’s a waste of time.

I’ve read a couple of articles, watched a couple of movies and series about bigamy, the other woman, cheating and divorce. It seems to me that the one who got away is the bravest, yet still the most vulnerable. She may be the smartest, but she’s emotionally soft.

Most people would think that it’s always the other woman who’s getting less of the bargain, but it’s not actually the case. The other woman gets the better deal because she’s the one who has the freedom to find someone else. The cheating husband on the other hand could opt to stay in his marriage mainly because he doesn’t want to go through all the hassle of separation, legally. I have to exclude love as a reason for staying, for a husband who truly loves his wife will never dare to cause her pain. As for the wife, I can only imagine the emotional torture it will give her knowing her husband stayed not because of reconciliation but only because of comfort and practicality. If the husband cheats twice, it becomes a hobby. And the picture of the other women will haunt her for the entirety of her marriage.

I’m not siding on the other woman here; in fact, my friends confession made me see both sides of the coin. The mere mention of the word marriage now frightens my wits. Because I never and I still don’t believe in divorce, I believe that once you make that sacred vow; that sacred promise; you must keep it. In sickness (cheating) and in health, until death do you part. And the question I have for myself is “will I be able to handle all the pain?”, “will I be able to bar all major catastrophes just to save my marriage?” All I know now is that there are many ways to skin a cat, even though I haven’t even come up with one.

I understand those who chose to part ways; those who chose to escape chaos, those who’ve said enough is enough. I understand those who cheated; those who fell on the trap and did what is right even though it’s not fair. I understand those who chose to forgive; those who endured and will endure so much pain, those who chose to stay for whatever it’s worth.

Happiness is a choice, although often it might seem otherwise. I hope reality never find its reason to teach me a lesson about polygamy in marriage.

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