, , , , ,

Few weeks back, she asked one of her friends why her friend would never get back with her husband since they have a kid. “Why won’t you settle back together for the sake of your child?” she asked. “It’s traumatic” was all her friend said. And she understood her. Been there, done that. Her friend said; if it was her, she would probably have stayed because she’s “too nice and churchy”.

A couple of years ago, her relationship of over five years had ended over cheating. At that time she thought that maybe her decision to leave him would change if their relationship was bonded by the sacred matrimony. She thought that maybe she could forgive all the physical and emotional abuse. But now she realized that they would probably have the same bitter ending, because she could and would never trust him again. Even if she forgives him for all the abuse, there will always be an elephant in the room, a shadow of polygamy and fears following her until all her doubts lead them to divorce.

He never asked her for forgiveness, and her guess fate ensure their paths never cross.

She told her dear friend how what happened has changed her. She is no longer the nice person trying to play the role of a Messiah in every relationship. She no longer ignores all the red flags of a villain pretending to be a prince charming. She no longer settles for anything that is less than what she deserves.

The one who broke her heart will be monster in her story. But until she figured not everyone is bound to hurt her, the monster in her story is called doubt.

“…sometimes Love brings you flowers, then it builds you coffins, and far too often we fall to our demise.”