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Look to the left, right, behind; be very aware of the environment… this was me, totally paranoid, after a guy admitted to stalking me.I met him at one of the company I used to work at. I was a new hire and had to attend a two-hour safety orientation. He was my seatmate and became a partner at one of the orientation activities. He seems nice, a typical mixed middle-eastern-European guy.

After that day, he sent me emails… and then calls… eventually I would “chance” upon him at the lobby or the hallway far more often than usual. I didn’t give any meaning to it until one day; I was alone sitting at the bus stop when I saw him walking towards me. Right in that very spot he proposed to me; his exact words were a mental torture. Of all people, why me? See, the thing is, I don’t remember him asking me out on a date. He just popped the question just like the movies and I am a very realistic person, I don’t fall for that. The bus arrived right before I could weave the politically correct way of saying no.

His emails and calls became incessant, and I became creative in finding ways to avoid him. He would leave me voicemails detailing his plans for the day with me which I would politely decline.

I was at the cafeteria when he spotted me and joined me in for lunch. I barely finished my food because he wanted me to explain why I wouldn’t give him a chance. Eventually, I ran out of excuses and just told him a lie, that I already have a boyfriend. He went berserk and accused me of being promiscuous.

I felt harassed and was about to report him to our HR group when I found out that he was about to be laid off. He said sorry for everything that he’d said and wanted to meet up so he could make things right before he leaves. I blocked him on everything.

A couple of months forward, he could reach me out. My contacts reset when I changed my phone and didn’t notice it until his message went through. He professed his undying love and admitted to stalking me. It sent me shivers. For the nth time, I rejected him. And for the nth time, he couldn’t take it.

I became paranoid after his confession. I would barely go out alone. To top it up, he was being pushy. For four years, he would ask for a chance, but I would always choose someone else. For four years, I would try and explain why friendship is the only thing I could offer him.

I guess what he couldn’t accept is the fact that I am not the type of girl who would settle for someone who’s available. I am not the type of girl who would fall easily. I am the kind of girl who sticks to what I know is right for me. I am the type of girl who waits.

So, my dear stalker, thanks for the love and attention. Sorry that I couldn’t force myself to loving you back. I hope that you would keep your promise, that you will forget me. I wish that you meet someone else. Someone who would appreciate you. Someone who would love you back. Someone who would be happy being stalked.

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