Today, I feel like a candle slowly burning down to my demise.
I talked to a close friend of mine the other day and opened about my issues. She acknowledged my problems and even agreed to the fact that I have too much on my plate. I told her how I don’t have much of a choice but to choose to stay positive every single waking day.
But come morning, I’ve read a sad news about a famous personality who died of an apparent suicide. It came as another epiphany for me. Here’s a guy who seem to have control in life, who possess a strong personality, and very intelligent to say the least; but then decided to end his life. Damn it. Life is so fragile and we never know what’s going on in the inside of another person. I’d like to think that there’s more to his suicide than depression. I’d like to think as though Anthony realized he already had a good life and he’s done so he decided to end it.
I too, wish science would acknowledge that depression is a sickness just like cancer. Once we came to accept it as that, maybe we can prevent suicide. Because you can’t fight a battle you cannot acknowledge as real.
I too, can feel depressed at most times, it’s a demon I struggle to fight on most days and hopefully it doesn’t catch up.
More than I never want to give someone the satisfaction of watching me suffer, I try to rewire my thoughts to have a more positive outlook in life. Because as cliché as it goes, choosing kindness and happiness can tame that demon constantly whispering in your ears to quit at life. So, stop trying to make sense of something that is incomprehensible. It’s a struggle. Instead, find your purpose. Find your meaning. Choose life.
After all, as Graham Brown put it “Life is about choices. Some we regret, some we’re proud of. Some will haunt us forever. The message – we are what we chose to be.”
What are you?