I can see your face in the clustered stars
And I can sense your presence in the rarefied air.
Although our paths have never crossed,
Our hearts seemed entwined in space.
Over a million dusts that covers the earth,
I can see the tiny fleeting crumbs that steers your way
As though a thousand bliss will be carried by fate,
If only we choose the same destiny to take.
You mean more to me that I could ever explain,
Like two souls that are preordained.
But is it not now, nor at this life?
Is it a battle lost before we begin the fight?
If you search me in the stars, feel me in the air,
And look for the crumbs I left in the trail;
Listen to my voice that whispers your name,
You’ll find that heart waiting even when it rains.
Early this morning I was having a chat with a friend who used to work at my current company. Apparently, he got a call from one of the department managers and they wanted him back. I asked him if he has decided on it yet. He said he hasn’t received an offer yet. I told him I can send him an offer if that’s all he wants. 😂 Here’s my offer letter:
Dear [first name],
I am pleased to offer you a role as a “bowa (boyfriend)” at CShella Foundation for the Single yet Cute Boylets. I trust that your experience and skills will be a valuable asset to my company.
If you are to accept this offer you will be eligible to the following in accordance to my company’s policies:
To accept this offer sign and date this job offer letter as indicated below and email it back to me by 08September2017.
If you accept this offer, your hire date will be the 08September2017.
I at CShella Foundation for the Single yet Cute Boylets hope that you’ll accept this offer and look forward to welcoming you aboard. Feel free to call CShella if you have any questions or concerns.
I got home from a weekend camping trip decided to leave him. The condo unit was oddly silent giving me a mixed sense of relief and loneliness.
I checked around the unit; I could still smell his perfume in his room, his wallet sitting on the bedside table, meaning he hasn't left long ago and he won't go far either. I packed all my bags while my friend tried to call him so we could talk to him one last time; but we couldn't reach him. We got a hold of another friend who apparently received a cryptic message from him earlier that day. His phone was then turned off.
When everything is ready to be loaded to the car, I checked every inch of the unit again hoping I'd find another hint of where he might have gone to. As I opened the door in the walk-in closet leading to the washroom, I saw him. His face; imploring me not to leave. All those times we were trying to locate him; he was just there hiding behind the bath-tub curtains. In my surprise, I let out a little shout catching the attention of our friend. He then tried to lock himself in the washroom, threatening us that he would inject himself with high dose of insulin. I tried to talk him over, as we attempt to fully open the door. I could see him almost pushing the needles to his arms… I panicked leaving our friend no choice but to call 911. The police and the paramedics came; and as much as I don't want to leave him in that situation, I had to. I am sick and tired of all the drama. The paramedic told me he's old enough to handle himself and I wouldn't be held liable should anything happen to him. They brought him to a psychiatrist after we told him how he tried to kill himself. I left the building with the ambulance and police lights glaring in the background…
It took me a while to recover from all of it: the chaos, the drama, the physical and financial abuse, much more the emotional torture. At first, I didn't understand how my prince charming turned into an ugly beast. Then I thought maybe he was always a monster after all, and I just learned to mask all the red flags with a beautiful perfect image of him. I guess it happens to the best of us.
All these had occurred four years ago, and I still remember every detail of it. I used to feel pain every time it would cross my mind, not anymore. It has now become a distant yet vivid memory of a dramatic past. Where once a year, I would walk down that memory lane to remind me of how I came through a lot of struggles and moved on. It all didn't go in vain. In my fragmented past I learned what it is like to love and let go. Like a kintsugi; it became more beautiful for having been broken.
“If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I’d like to do
Is to save every day
‘Til eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you”
Out of my mundane life you came and painted rainbows in my sky…I was always looking forward to finally meeting you and now here you are…
Nothing else matters when we are talking. And I don’t mind being hurt again just in case this relationship fails. Honestly, I don’t ever want this to end.
“If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I’d save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you”
Fate has led us here. You are my soul-mate. You understand me in a way that no one else can. You intrigue me. You capture my imagination. You consume my heart and my thought. You have moved me. You are my home.
After all the pains and sorrows I’ve been through, I never thought I could ever feel so much love again. Your love consumes me yet I long to be consumed more by you.
“But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
I’ve looked around enough to know
That you’re the one I want to go
Through time with”
They say time is the most precious thing you can never buy. So how do you put value in time? How do you measure time when it comes by infinity upon infinity? How do you lose something as innate and uncertain as time?
Time is fleeting. I’ve known the value of infinity because of you. I longed for forever because of you… Those memories we made in each passing day, each passing hours and each passing moments were priceless. And with that I will always be grateful. I love you more today and will love you most tomorrow.
“If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you”